


Dissonance

by anythingbutplatonic



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: 4x08, A little bit of fluff if you squint, Episode Related, F/M, Legends of Yesterday, Light Angst, Missing Scene Fic, episode reaction fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-05-05 03:58:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5360225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anythingbutplatonic/pseuds/anythingbutplatonic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>William or Felicity. His son or the love of his life. His past or his future.</p><p>Never seeing his son again..........or losing Felicity forever. </p><p>Episode reaction/missing scene fic for 4x08 "Legends of Yesterday".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dissonance

  _dissonance -_

_1\. a) lack of agreement; especially: inconsistency between the beliefs one holds or between one's actions and one's beliefs_  
_b) an instance of such inconsistency or disagreement_

_***_

Never had Oliver ever thought that having Felicity’s arms around him would make him feel worse instead of better.

But, as she drew him into her embrace, on the couch in the middle of the mess that was their living room, her arms winding around his shoulders to cradle him close, he felt his heart start to beat hard in his chest. Hard enough to hurt. 

_Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar._

Samantha had given him an impossible choice. Agree to lie, and he would be allowed to visit his son. Reject her demands, and he would never be welcome in her home again. 

And William would go a lot more than just nine years without knowing his father. 

William or Felicity. His son or the love of his life. His past or his future.

Never seeing his son again..... _....._ or losing Felicity forever. 

Because that was what it boiled down to, in the end, wasn’t it? Losing Felicity. Losing her trust, losing her love. Having her walk away from him when he’d only just brought her into his life in the way he’d so desperately longed for, but never thought would actually happen. 

A life that had made him happier than he’d been in months. A life that had made him happier than he’d been in  _years._

A life that had unburdened his soul and started to knit the broken pieces of it back together, sometimes in rapid succession, other times painstakingly slowly. 

Sometimes like stitching up a small gash. Sometimes like trying to close a gaping wound that was fast bleeding out. 

It was an amazing life. It was theirs. He was, as he’d told Barry, at peace. 

Finding out that William was his son was like reopening that wound, ripping the stitches and letting the blood spill out, a gush of red that stained everything it came into contact with. 

Felicity deserved better. 

She suddenly poked him playfully in the arm, breaking him from his reverie. 

“Are you falling asleep on me?” she asked, shifting a little where she perched, halfway between his lap and the arm of the couch. “I know it’s been a long day. A long couple of days, actually.”

“I won’t disagree with that,“ Oliver said, opening his eyes and craning his head to look up at her. A soft smile graced her features. Her hair, in the light from the many lamps, looked like spun gold. Though it made guilt bubble in his stomach like acid, he attempted a smile of his own. “I am kind of exhausted.”

“Me too,” she replied. “But the mess...” Her eyes flicked around the room, to the broken glass, the overturned coffee table and cream-coloured lamp, the giant hole in the window where Savage had crashed through it. 

“Leave it,” Oliver said, his smile more genuine now, despite himself. “It’ll be the first thing we deal with in the morning. I’ll clean everything up and call the landlord about the window. It’ll be fine.”

Felicity beamed, then, her face lighting up like the sun. 

“My hero,” she whispered, and bent to kiss him, a chaste press of her lips on his. She was smiling as she kissed him, and he smiled back, losing himself all over again in her closeness, the taste of her lips, the tickle of her hair against his cheek and the warmth of her hand where it rested just over his heart. 

He thought of what it had been like, these past six or seven months, to be with her in ways he never thought he would be able to. To go sightseeing in Bali and share pizza in Italy. To kiss her awake each morning, and kiss her goodnight each evening. To lie at her side in their bed and hear her call him “honey”. To cook for her. To have her surprise him in the shower, the water splashing off of their naked skin, even though it would make her late for work. 

To fall more and more in love with her, every minute of every day, and to be unable to imagine his life without her. 

He thought of William, the little boy with dark blond hair that was just like his and round cheeks that reminded him of Thea as a child. The boy with inquisitive eyes and a shy voice and a huge imagination, who made up story after story about The Flash saving the world, who could amuse himself for hours with his action figures and never come up with the same adventure twice. 

The little boy he wanted to get to know, in the hope of one day being called ‘Dad’ and not just known as ‘Mom’s friend Oliver’. 

What Samantha had offered him had never been a choice, but a price on his head, and on the head of his son.  _Their_  son. 

He only hoped, and desperately so, that Felicity could forgive him for paying it. 


End file.
